Cul-de-Sac

Wisteria Close is the loveliest street you will never leave.

Six identical houses. One turning circle. And every single resident wakes up to the exact same Tuesday - traffic report, burnt toast, and all - for as long as anyone can remember.

Estate agent Terry Fistleworth arrives to value No. 4 for probate and finds a hallway that rearranges its own lavender to flatter him, a For Sale board that will not stay down, and a neighbour whose new conservatory is very slowly, very lovingly turning him into garden furniture.

Because the houses of Wisteria Close are alive. They are lonely. And they have finally worked out what they want:

To be loved, in the way only a mortgage can express.

To break the loop, Terry will have to do the one thing eighteen months of describing box rooms as "a wonderful blank canvas" never prepared him for - give a lonely, jealous, three-bedroom semi a full and honest valuation, before it finishes falling in love with him completely.

Perfect for readers who love:

• Cheesy, very British horror-comedy


• Haunted houses with genuine feelings


• Body horror played disturbingly straight-faced


• Suburban satire with real heart underneath the hinges

Cul-de-Sac is a stand-alone horror-comedy novella from the author of Nightjar.